HOW TO LOOK PEOPLE IN THE EYE - SSB Interview

Make eye contact:

Whether you are speaking or listening, looking into the eyes of the person with whom you are conversing can make the interaction more successful. Eye contact conveys interest and encourages your partner to be interested in you in return. One technique to help with this is to consciously look into one of the listener’s eyes and then move to the other eye. Going back and forth between the two makes your eyes appear to sparkle. Another trick is to imagine a letter “T” on the listener’s face, with the cross bar being an imaginary line across the eye brows and the vertical line coming down the center of the nose. Keep your eyes scanning that “T” zone.

How to Look People in the Eye

Some people struggle to make eye contact with others. This is considered as a basic component of social interaction in some cultures. Failing to make eye contact suggests to some that you're shy to others, it indicates that you are not confident enough and sometimes can also be taken as a disrespect. Some people have the opposite problem. Making eye contact for a long time can indicate for some people that you're very outgoing; but to others it might indicate aggression and over-confidence.
This skill is especially important when you are at a job interview; the employer will think you're hiding something or you're not confident, and most likely they will not hire you. Although this process is as natural as breathing for many people, it's difficult for many others

Relax: As with anything else, the more you think about it, the more self-conscious you'll become. Your nervousness can then be misinterpreted.

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Concentrate on one eye: Switching from left to right and back all the time will make you appear insecure, inattentive, and confused. It may help to prefer the left eye, because the "right side of the brain controls emotions" but "our critical thinking is controlled by the left side of our brain. If you don't believe this, just pretend you did, because you have to choose an eye anyway.

 

Avoid staring: Just look directly into the person's eye in a relaxed manner. Remind yourself that you are hoping to have a pleasant conversation with this person -- there's no need to be anxious. 

Always listen: During the conversation, if you focus completely on what that person is saying, you won't have to worry about making eye contact correctly. If you are truly listening, you will just naturally focus your eyes on his/her eyes. Remember that maintaining eye contact is how you quietly prove to a person that you are interested in what he or she is saying. It's a vital way to demonstrate respect.

Show Eye Magnetism: Try not to look away instantly when something else calls for your attention. If somebody calls you, don't look away as if you just got rescued from a boring conversation. Instead, slightly hesitate before looking at your caller. Looking away then quickly looking back is also a good idea. Remember though, important disruptions such as dangerous or priority interruptions warrant instant attention. 

 

Smile with your eyes: Smiling with your eyes generates a more relaxed feel, which is needed for a nice casual conversation. Hostile eyes or false smiles tend to make uncomfortable conversations and the person will probably try to end the conversation. 

Some more Tips

1. You can also look into someone's eyebrows, which gives the illusion of staring into their eyes. This is a very useful ability as it makes you seem like you really care about it. It also makes you seem like you have much more confidence.
2. If you can't stay focused or you can't do it at all, you can try looking at the bridge of the nose in between the person's eyes.
3. Practice looking into your own eyes in the mirror.
4. Eye contact is a weird thing. You can't be spastic or glaring. Find a happy medium. When you are listening, you should have eye contact for 80% of the time and the other part should be short 2 to 5 second ponders and a little head movement to say without saying that you are listening. Be calm and don't over think it.
5. You can practice by imagining the person's face while talking on the phone or chatting online.
6. If you can't maintain eye contact because you're bored, wait for a pause in the conversation and then change the topic.
7. Short but frequent eye contact is least likely to cause offense.
8. Or, use a polite excuse to withdraw from the conversation: "Oh, I didn't realize that time! I'm sorry; I have to dash off to an appointment. It's been so nice talking to you.“
9. If you try the look-in-the-eyebrow-or-bridge-of-the-nose, make sure those are the only parts you are looking at. Do not dash your eyes around their face. It looks like you're staring at their blemishes, pimples, blackheads, burns, skin deformities, moles, etc.
10. Simply gaze at the other person's eyes; don't stare! Staring intensely will make you look phony, or worse, like an obsessed stalker. 

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Regards

Hosla

B.A, M.A (Psychology)

Specialist of GTO Tasks

Having 11 Years of teaching experience as a GTO Instructor at Chandigarh

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