Assertive
communication Skills
The first implication is that merely making a
meaningful contribution in an attempt to achieve consensus is not enough. You
have to be seen by the evaluator to have made a meaningful contribution in an
attempt to build the right consensus. In other words you must ensure that the
group hears you. If the group hears you so will the evaluator. You must get at
least some airtime. If you are not a very assertive person you will have to
simply learn to be assertive for those 15 minutes. If you get cowed down easily
in an aggressive group, you can say goodbye to the business school
admission.
The second important implication is that making just
any sort of contribution is not enough. Your contribution has to be meaningful.
A meaningful contribution suggests that you have a good knowledge base, are
able to structure arguments logically and are a good communicator. These are
qualities that are desired by all evaluators. Many group discussion
participants feel that the way to succeed in a group discussion is by speaking
frequently, for a long time and loudly. This is not true. The quality of
what you say is more important than the quantity. Don’t be demoralized if
you feel you have not spoken enough. If you have spoken sense and have been
heard, even if only for a short time, it is usually good enough.
“Many group discussion participants often complain
that they did not get a chance to speak. The fact of the matter is that in
no group discussion do you get a chance to speak. You have to make your chances”
1. When approaching someone about behavior you’d like to see changed, stick to factual descriptions of what they’ve done that’s upset you, rather than labels or judgments.
Here’s an example:
Situation:
Your friend, who habitually arrives late for your plans, has shown up twenty
minutes late for a lunch date.
Inappropriate:
"You’re so rude! You’re always late."
Assertive
Communication: "We were supposed to meet at 11:30, but now its
11:50."
2. The
same should be done if describing the effects of their behavior. Don’t
exaggerate, label or judge; just describe: Inappropriate: “Now lunch is ruined.”
Assertive
Communication: “Now I have less time to spend lunching because I still need to
be back to work by 1pm.”
be back to work by 1pm.”
3. Use “I Messages”. Simply put, if you start a sentence off with “You”, it comes off as more of a judgment or attack, and puts people on the defensive. If you start with “I”, the focus is more on how you are feeling and how you are affected by their behavior. Also, it shows more ownership of your reactions, and less blame.
For
example:
‘You
Message’: “You need to stop that!” ‘I Message’: “I’d like it if you’d stop
that.”
4.
Here’s a great formula that puts it all together: “When you [their behavior], I
feel [your feelings].” When used with factual statements, rather than judgments
or labels, this
formula provides a direct, non- attacking, more responsible way of letting people know how their behavior affects you.
formula provides a direct, non- attacking, more responsible way of letting people know how their behavior affects you.
For example:
“When
you yell, I feel attacked.”
5. A
more advanced variation of this formula includes the results of their behavior
(again,
put into factual terms), and looks like this: “When you [their behavior], then [results of their behavior], and I feel [how you feel].” Here are some examples:
“When you arrive late, I have to wait, and I feel frustrated.” “When you tell the kids they
can do something that I’ve already forbidden, some of my authority as a parent is taken
away, and I feel undermined.”
put into factual terms), and looks like this: “When you [their behavior], then [results of their behavior], and I feel [how you feel].” Here are some examples:
“When you arrive late, I have to wait, and I feel frustrated.” “When you tell the kids they
can do something that I’ve already forbidden, some of my authority as a parent is taken
away, and I feel undermined.”
1. Make
sure your body reflects confidence: stand up straight, look people in the eye,
and
relax.
2. Use a firm, but pleasant, tone.
relax.
2. Use a firm, but pleasant, tone.
3. Don’t
assume you know what the other person’s motives are, especially if you think
they’re negative.
4. When
in a discussion, don’t forget to listen and it’s important to understand
the other person’s point of view as well.
5. Try
to think win-win: see if you can find a compromise or a way for you both get
your
needs met.
needs met.
Apart from the above points, the panel
will also judge team members for their alertness and presence of mind,
problem-solving abilities, ability to work as a team without alienating certain
members, and creativity.
CLICK ON GIVEN LINK FOR VIDEOS OF SSB GTO TASKS, SUBSCRIBE US AND STAY UPDATE HOSLA ACADEMY
So as I wish you good luck I encourage each one of you to be your
natural self… for banking on your own various strengths and common sense will
surely help you do well.
Regards
Hosla
B.A, M.A (Psychology)
Specialist of GTO tasks
(Having 11 years of Teaching Experience
as a GTO Instructor)
Ambala Cantt, Haryana.
Mob: 7015202663, 095411 85701
Comments
Post a Comment